The truth is, it doesn't matter what I do, or am, or say, or be. Sometimes it simply isn't enough. Part of the mitigation of pain is the acceptance that you only have so much control, that you can only compensate for the world around you to a certain degree. Once you realise and accept that, the pain itself is manageable. It is simply a consequence of the decisions made, and if they have been made, committed to and pursued with an honest heart, with openness and trust, and they do not come through, then there is nothing more you can do. You have tried, and failed.
Such is the way of things.
And so, once again, I fail. But I tried, and that is what counts, no matter what little consolation that provides.