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extracts from 'muse' - 1999

I've thought long and hard about whether I want to, or ought to, publish some of the poetry that makes up Muse, Post-muse, Tangles, Rediscovered and Solitude, which are all collections of my poems from the 1990s and early 2000s. Some have made it onto the blog, the vast majority haven't. A lot of it is dark, a lot of it explores themes not necessarily suitable for the light of day, some of it personal, some of it extrapolated, some of it just 'playing'.

Thanks to Ramon and Cline for persuading me to do so. Anyway, extracts from 'Muse':


i beat the dawn chorus

i beat it again

i'm sitting here writing

about you again



* * *


untitled (iii)

i didn't realise

the depth of my fear

until i caught it staring

from the depths of my beer



* * *


loss paints with great shadows

the shape of your face



* * *



do you remember this song ?

i think it meant something to you

and something entirely different

to me



* * *



you unlocked my doors

you waltzed right in

you pulled out a grenade

and then pulled out the pin



* * *


i don't give a fuck about you



it's a lie

i do



* * *




didn't see you there

how are you

looking well

must be going

catch you sometime

maybe for a drink


over old times

got to go

have to dash

see you later

take care




staring after


should have said

I loved you




* * *



depression sought me

darkness found me

hidden child



autumn bore me

winter raised me

summers end



bitterness taught me

hardship shaped me

empty stick



kinship fought me

sister wrought me

remnant soul



bleakness wove me

despair woke me

flapping thought



emptiness bought me

futility raped me

violate me



shadows clothed me

terror cloaked me

suffocate me



hope depraved me

life betrayed me

dying child






silent days

silent days those

silent days alone

mere moments

stretched into time

wondering heart

taut with fear

terrified in the

darkness inside

hidden away

for everyone's

mutual sight

exposed by a

dark beam

of hapless dread

conquered and

tortured all alone

silent days passing

stripping away

the gloss of my

life the thoughts

in my head

stripping a creature

of simple dignities

reducing an entity

to the lowest of

humanity's kin

alone in silence

just feeling and

fearing the solemn

voice of your return

the empty step

of your look

the slow sad wave

of knowing a truth

of seeing its birth

in the depth of

your eyes

silently passing

alone in this world

silent days these

alone in this world



extracts from post-muse - 1999-2000

free - march wwb challenge - short story