I seem to be hitting another phase of insomnia. It is nearly 1am and, despite being absolutely shattered, I have watched a film, done some stuff online and cleaned the filter for the aquarium. I am still nowhere near being able to sleep. If I knew of a cafe that was open (in the spirit of Le Petit Café d'Insomnie) I would get changed and toddle off there now. In for a penny, in for a pound.
I've not been on Twitter for over a week now and... well, I don't think anyone has noticed. The other thing is that I am not missing it. I miss the interaction with various people but I am not missing it. I have had a love-hate relationship with Twitter and Facebook over the last couple of years, and if anything, that hasn't changed.
I feel a real sense of disconnection with my links on there, despite there being roughly 700 of them (700 following, 640 followers), and despite the majority of them supposedly falling into the same interest/social groups as me.
I am also beginning to sense a stasis about the majority of people on Twitter; for me the people who seem to have moved on or grown or evolved have pretty much all left twitter. They are doing other things, tangible things, with tangible people. That isn't to say that those remaining aren't doing those too but... they haven't changed...
I have had a lot of fun with Twitter, and made a lot of good friends and good contacts. I have had lows too, and witnessed some horrible things (as much as you can through a text based medium). I've discovered new things through other people, have virtually held the hands of those who have needed it, and had the same in return. Tough times have been shared, as have good times.
It is a social medium that rewards the effort you put into it. I'm not sure I am prepared to put that effort in, for what seems like an increasingly more nebulous return. If that sounds transactional then it is, but only because Twitter itself is transactional, by the way it is structured, by the language it uses, by the very nature of the medium. And the transactions, the interactions are fleeting, the conversations ephemeral. There are no long spun conversations into the middle of the night, hours passing unnoticed as a backdrop to that dance of ideas and thoughts and emotions. Twitter is fast, the relationships formed within it fast, so many of them running through the relationship life-cycle at a greater pace than in the real world. For me Twitter is a speeded up, subtly more vicious form of social Darwinism. It can cut and burn without meaning to. And by Twitter I mean the people who inhabit its ecosystem. It isn't necessarily intentional, it just is.
I can't help but feel it is time to move on. I don't feel it anymore. I don't feel those connections, except with a few odd people. I don't feel part of that online community anymore. And I really don't feel I need to be.