I am so utterly tired, it is all but unimaginable. Two weeks ago I was on the coast of Pembrokeshire, part of the way through my holiday. Two weeks later I barely have the energy to stay awake and upright.
Tomorrow is the beginning of NaNoWriMo. I am planning to do it, although I can’t see how I will have the time and energy. No matter, one can but try.
Fifty thousand words, here I come...
I am in a dilemma. I have choices to make, and yet I cannot tell if I am reading the situation correctly. I cannot tell if the consequences of action will be sufficiently detrimental to prohibit the risk taking.
I thought I was too old to worry about this. It is out of my control, I can but proceed to the best of my judgment. I must not fear.
Which leads to the question... do I? Do I venture into the unknown, on a hunch, to navigate new worlds under new stars to a song unfamiliar to me? Do I risk all, throw myself onto the potency of potentialities, where all outcomes remain at their maximum? Do I seize the moment, rely on kismet and happenstance to bring me to the correct moment? Do I?
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
Fortune and glory. Love and life. I will crest the mountain peak and see the world in its entirety. I will devour the fear and leave only dreams.