Welcome to my blog, where I write about all manner of things... 

i must not

I am so utterly tired, it is all but unimaginable. Two weeks ago I was on the coast of Pembrokeshire, part of the way through my holiday. Two weeks later I barely have the energy to stay awake and upright.


Tomorrow is the beginning of NaNoWriMo. I am planning to do it, although I can’t see how I will have the time and energy. No matter, one can but try. 

Fifty thousand words, here I come... 


I am in a dilemma. I have choices to make, and yet I cannot tell if I am reading the situation correctly. I cannot tell if the consequences of action will be sufficiently detrimental to prohibit the risk taking. 

I thought I was too old to worry about this. It is out of my control, I can but proceed to the best of my judgment. I must not fear.

Which leads to the question... do I? Do I venture into the unknown, on a hunch, to navigate new worlds under new stars to a song unfamiliar to me?  Do I risk all, throw myself onto the potency of potentialities, where all outcomes remain at their maximum? Do I seize the moment, rely on kismet and happenstance to bring me to the correct moment? Do I?

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain. 

Fuck. It. 

Fortune and glory.  Love and life. I will crest the mountain peak and see the world in its entirety. I will devour the fear and leave only dreams.

Fortune. Glory.